For about a week and a half now I have been trying everything that I could imagine not to write. My personal devotions had become near extinct, as my bible collected dust and the my laptop screen hadn’t seen bible.com in ages. I was to busy to take the time out to pause and give God his time. When I am in God’s will; giving Him my time, involving Him in all my decisions, obeying His commands, and striving for holiness, I am free. When I am not in His will, doing my own thing, being careless, and striving to live for self rather that God, I am all messed up and bound.
Over the past few weeks God had been ministering to me about resting in Him (No he did not come from on high, with a thunderous voice and say, ‘Najeema Iman McMahan I need for you today to stop everything that you are doing and go to sleep,’ although that is completely possible.) He was telling me to pause. So much so that when I went to church a few weeks ago my pastor was even talking about taking time to be still.
Now I am a people person, I loathe being alone over extensive periods of time, in fact given the opportunity to choose a quiet space with my favorite book (there are several) and going to a loud area overflowing with people; I would most likely choose the overcrowded jungle. God made unique, outgoing, with a vivacious personality. He made me extremely extroverted, however He, in this moment desires for me to calm down, chill, reflect, go to sleep, get some rest.
Right now God has made me a stay at home mom. I do not know for how long, it’s not what I want to do but it is what I have to do. I want to go back to work (OLD NAVY) and do my thang, dress people, be friendly, make someone’s day by telling them how good they look in a pair of jeans, but NO. Not only has God told me NO, circumstances just don’t make it possible for me to go back at least until holiday season Those circumstances being not finding GREAT, not good child care, still not having my L’s and Insurance just now kicking in so Elise can be up to date on her shots. I hate these circumstances, but could it be that these things need to be in order before I can move on.
Let’s be real here, in our society it is almost impossible to live free without being able to drive, you need to drive to get to doctors appointments on time, and you need to get too the doctors office in order to get shots. I often think in disorder, and order often only comes when you sit, look at everything that you have and prioritize so you can organize.
Now I feel like I am truly back on track, prioritizing and organizing, but I am still not on track because it is time for resting, recuperating. Its been a hectic two years, college, relationship, engaged, pregnant, kicked out of school, married, first born, the big move, family restoration, new family ties, job shifting, relationship building, and that’s only half of it. I have had endless cycles in my life over the past few years, enough to make many people go bananas, but God. The ultimate peace maker has carried me even when I didn’t want be shielded from my day to day life. It hasn’t been easy, but God. I haven’t always wanted to be close to him, but God.
In this season to me God is the ultimate therapist. He is rehabilitating me and is highly trained in curing disease and disorders. He hold curative powers far beyond what we can comprehend. My prescription is relaxation and I am letting it flow.
Question: Does God want you to pause and rest?
Answer: Only God holds the key. Busyness is worthless, God’s will is priceless, so let Him speak to you. You have to be quiet and listen.
I AM Curly Locks, Najeema Iman
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