It is past one in the morning and I am not in the bed. I know that I am going to regret it in the morning when my terrific two wakes up, but after midnight is the only time that I can get to my self. I am a full time mom and housewife, titles that I sometimes struggle to embrace, and my life is very full. I take care of everybody, but seldom find time to take care of myself. I struggle to get through day to day task, days go by with dishes in the sink, baskets of clothes line my walls, and my house is a jungle. I still don't drive, simply because I don't have time for classes, which forces me to be stuck in the house with two kids most days. My husband works crazy hours giving us little family time or one on one time with each other. Don't get it twisted I have a loving husband, but it's hard on us all. My prayer life is near non existent and I shriek at the midnight cries of my daughters. I'm sinking here.
Last year we moved two hours outside of metro Detroit area. We left everything and everyone we love to for uncharted territories. Being such a family oriented person makes this exceptionally hard and I just don't have the help that I need with the girls that I would like. I don't hate motherhood or being a wife, but I do not believe that I am living up to my full potential. It is so hard.
I could continue to go on and on with the list of problems that I have, but I know that there has be some good, right? I am depressed to say the least and I know it is only God who can bring
me out of this, but frankly sometimes I get mad at Him too. I know that is not a good place to be, and I pray that talking some things out with a counselor will help me heal and move into what God has for me. But I know I can't be the only one going through this, right? I'm struggling to stay afloat here can somebody throw me a lifeline.
Najeema Iman, I AM Curly Locks