Journey Through Grief: Instant Jolt

Every time I think that I have fully healed something comes along and gives me an instant jolt.  I am not really sad right now, but it did force me to look over the past five years of my life.  Once again a matriarch has died, a very close family friend name Miss V died this weekend.  She lost her battle with cancer, but is no longer in pain.  All I can think about is Miss V in heaven sayin' "Hey Marie, I made it. I hope they're gonna be okay."  Miss V and my grandmother weren't best buds but they crossed paths often, as my mother and her daughter, who I affectionately call Auntie D, have been best friends since I was like four or five.

I have a lot of extended family.  I'm not talking long lost cousins and aunties you haven't seen in a while; I'm talking about your mama's friends that are always around, there kids are both cousins and your best friends.  Family is family to me, rather it is extended or not. So when someone dies I take it to heart. Even if I haven't talked to them in years, I hold them near and dear to my heart.  I guess this is apart of my sensitive side, which people don't see to often. 

I have seen death so much over the past five years it is ridiculous, its a part of life but the truth is that none of us really like, nor want to deal with it.  We have to and we can not grieve forever.  The grieving process has no expiration date, but it sure leave a bad taste in your mouth.  According to experts in the psychology community there can be anywhere from five to ten stages of the grieving process.  What they all have in common is Denial, Guilt, Anger, Depression and Hope.  Personally I am right around the reconstructive hopeful phase, where I am realizing that though I suffered a huge loss, life is worth living and so much of who I am comes from who she was.  Every time I went with her to serve the homeless; every time I helped her prepare a holiday meal; every morning that she drove me to school; she was teaching me valuable lessons about life, family, love, philanthropy, and so much more. 

Everything happens for a reason, every person comes in your life for a season.  You don't know how long they will be with you, but value the time that you are blessed to have.   Don't waste you life being angry. Live with God's love everyday.  There is hope in today, tomorrow, and everyday.

Peace and Love,

Najeema Iman, I AM Curly Locks