Motherhood: The Forgotten Diaper Change

My toddlers were well feed, my business advertisements were posted, daily emails and follow ups completed, however mommy had a fail moment today. It completely slipped my mind to change my almost 2 year olds diaper.  It’s a normal part of our routine. We get up, change diaper, wash up a bit if need, have breakfast, get dressed, and go about our day.  But somehow, this oh so important task that we do every day, several times a day simply slipped mind.  Of course she did not go all day without a diaper, however it too me till after our first snack time of the day around 11am to realize my mistake. I was so busy concentrating on the next task that I needed to get completed that I neglected this basic need of my almost two year old.

It’s a PJ day, well not really but in my house it is. I had to drag myself out of bed today.  My husband has been working 16+ hour days and it is taking a toll on our whole family.  The girls are giving me more attitude than normal and we didn’t even make it to the youngest tots’ physical therapy session today.   I literally rolled out of bed, gave the girls milk, popped on the television, and we all laid in a row on the floor for the first hour or two.  The girls indulged in Sprout and Disney, me I was somewhere between sleep and being a ringleader preventing arguments between two toddler girls.

Breakfast was late, but the girls enjoyed it.  I kept it simple with turkey bacon, eggs, and toast for the girls.  I’m on a health kick, okay well not so much of a health kick as a lifestyle change, so my breakfast consisted of chai seeds and lemon in 8 oz. of water, followed by three pieces of toast with moistened powdered peanut butter and honey. Trust me it is better than it sounds, and it gives me the creamy sweet fix that I need to get through the day. 

I really didn’t feel like doing much of anything today, but having to toddler girls changes that. We had an impromptu craft time with markers and paper. Little did I know that the wee one had a surprise for me.  When I finally realized that I had neglected to change her diaper during snack time, I was tickled to find 5 markers, 3 crayons, and a plastic fork hanging out in her PJs. I don’t know when she found the time to sneak them in there, but I am so happy they weren’t in the diaper that I was changing.

PJ day is still going strong, but I’ve learned my lesson, pay attention to the small things before you tackle the large stuff.  It is so easy to get caught up in the next step rather than focusing on the where you are right now.  The beginning of my day would have been a lot simpler had I just slowed down.

Najeema Iman, I AM Curly Locks (Epic failure today, but I’m learning)

 

Mothering Woes: Cough n' Cold

I am in some sort of bad way right now.  One child sounds like they have a frog in their throat, the other has been sick for two+ weeks and was only awake for three hours yesterday.  The latter child seems to be doing better today, but the reality is that I am so over cough n' cold season right now.  It has wreaked havoc on my already non-existent social life, and put dent in several portions of my developing business plans.  I have definitely had to ask for God's grace quite a few times, and He has given me quite a few attitude adjustments during this hibernation phase.

You, when my kiddos get sick, life seems to be completely on hold. Laundry piles up more than usual, dishes collect in the sink, appointments get rescheduled or cancelled, and though housework becomes less of a priority I still find myself disinfecting every surface possible.  In between coughs, sneezes, administering medicine, cleaning up vomit, I occasionally find time to shower and get a bite to eat.  I know that this is all apart of motherhood, but it surely stinks and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.  Though I encourage my family to be health conscious and wash their hands, so much so that our hands peel and crack, not every family is like ours.   Not everyone has the "luxury" of keeping their kids at home to care for them when they are sick, or reinforce good hygiene.  Thus my children are exposed to their germs and we have the misfortune of getting sick.

So here I am pulling the  "Woe is me card." cause I am tired as heck locked in four walls with two toddlers who I swear have it in for me, haven't worked out in two days and probably packing on the pounds, and ready to snap at the next parent that I see with a child out in public with a kid coughing with a runny nose. 

No I'm not PMSing, but I sure could use a drink right now. (Don't judge me, got to keep it real.)

As I sit here listening to the moans, groans, and possible tears coming from the youngest room, I realize that there is absolutely nothing that I can do to soothe them.  All the hugs, love, sympathy, nose wipes, diaper changes, baby dolls, teddy bears, Vick's, aren't calming a sick one year old who doesn't want to be bothered right now.  I guess it is time to break out the cold cloth again and wipe her off, pray for me yall.

Najeema Iman, I AM Curly Locks(A mom in need of some intense therapy, prayer, or a nice tall glass of wine)

Frugal Friday: Date Night

Photo courtesy of Justin McMahan Photography

Date Nights are few and far between in our household.  Having two toddlers, no babysitter, no time, and a tight budget makes you have to get a little innovative.  I realize that in order for us to be effective parents we must have a firm foundation for our marriage which includes a triangular relationship with Christ, communication, and most importantly time with each other outside of the time that we spend with our children.  It isn't always easy to do that latter, but we try to find simple ways to have one on one time as often as possible.  So rather your  dating, engaged, or married I would like to help get you out of your rut this Frugal Friday by sharing simple date nights that don't break the bank. 

For Married Couples with children you know that between diaper changes and bedtime routines it is hard to fit in time for your spouse.  Some nights after the kids are gone to bed  my husband and I keep it simple witha Movie Night, Game Night, or Television Show Marathon. (Here's looking at you Breaking Bad, Doctor Who, and Downton Abbey.) If you have a sitter on hand for an hour catch a movie.  No time for a movie?  Grab a cup of Joe and relax at your local coffee house. Don't forget to leave the cell phone and laptop at home.   Book stores and libraries make for amazing dates. Guess What? they are FREE.  If your creatively inclined, like the hubs and I, grab some art supplies and innovate. And on those cold winter nights when you don't want to go out and the sitter is caught in the storm  (we have a lot of that here in Michigan) grab a book, cozy up on the couch with a hot drink and relax.  Forget about the laundry and dirty dishes, reconnect with your spouse.


For Dating and Newly Engaged Couples diaper duty and tantrums aren't your thing yet, so create a budget and start researching. One of the best resources at your disposal are internet discount sites such as Groupon.com and Dealchicken.com.  These sites have discount offers, often between 50-75% off the normal price of normal concerts and attractions in your area. Call attractions in your area and become familiar with their hours. Consider going to attractions on their low volume days which are often discounted. And don't forget to ask around. Friends and family members may have memberships to local attractions that with guest passes that you can use. Game Nights and Movie Nights are also cheap and at your disposal, but don't make it to late though. No late night slumber parties.

The possibilities are endless for couples if they budget, research, ask around, and innovate.  You can do it.

Peace, Love, and Frugal Friday,

Najeema Iman, I AM Curly Locks

Motherhood: From the Archives (30 Minute Round Up)

My grandmother loved keeping a clean house.  I have the same values, but my time is spread pretty thin these days.  Between caring for two toddlers, blogging, working on my jewelry line or any of my five million and one projects, fitting in cleaning to my daily routine can be overwhelming.  There is no way that I can spend the whole day dusting, polishing, cleaning, sorting, and washing everything without taking much needed time away from my girls.

Since I don't have time for a tedious cleaning routine, the only way that I can accomplish everything that I would like to in my day is through timed cleaning sessions.  I like to call them 30 minute round-ups.  My 30-minute round up usually consists 30 timed  minutes of picking up everything off of the floor, vacuuming, loading the dishwasher, wiping down surfaces, or any tasks that has gone undone for a while. I am not always able to fit in 30 minutes so I have a 10-15 minute round up sessions instead.

By timing myself I become a more effective housekeeper. I able to complete the most important things such as mopping the floor, picking up toys, cleaning the dishes, and have more time to spend with my family. The laundry in our house piles up often, and my toilet doesn't get cleaned everyday, but I am able to maintain a neater space for my family.

I'm not a supermom, but I do have a couple of super ideas that help me make it through the day.  Here's to a better housekeeping!!!

Peace, Love, Happy Cleaning,

Najeema Iman, I AM Curly Locks
"I believe in Kingdom blogging!"

Originally Posted 3/14/11
Updated February 27, 2013

I had a conversation with someone a week ago, which caused me to do a bit of self evaluation. "Do the expectations that I set for my self, supersede the expectations that God has for me?"  This is definitely a tough spill to swallow, seeing as I often feel like I am completely failing at everything that I am trying to do.  I am a self proclaimed multitask-er, who never completes the task that I start often.  Might be the reason I have two blogs that I barely post on, and an online store consisting of three items.  I try to put my hands at everything, often without consulting God on the matter.  I dive in without thinking about how deep or shallow the water is.  God knows the plans, He sees the future, but I must obey.  I may not know where the path is going to lead me, but He is by my side and will guide me.  I can dive in as long as I have my Life vest preserving me, securing me.

When we make decisions without God we are committing self sabotage, neglecting the one truth that never leads you in the wrong direction.  Even if you get off the path, if you pray and seek him, He will make the way straight.  You can not be everything to all people, so just be who God created you to be.  The only true expectations that matter are found between a leather bond book stamped with gold.

Being refined.

Peace and Love,

Najeema Iman, I AM Curly Locks

Terribly terrific twos

OMG, people warned me about the terribly terrific twos, but I don't think I believe them.   The emotional roller coaster from a hormonal two year old will make you want to pull your hair out.  I promise you that Elise thinks she's twelve.  Miss independence thinks that she can do everything herself, yet ask for help at the drop of the dime for basic task, such as putting on a shirt.

So far this week I have had three stand offs, which stretches my patience to the limit.  The first stand off came from her refusal to put on pants.  The second came from her refusal to take a nap.  The third stand off, currently taking place as I vent to you, came from her refusal to put away her little people toys.  I'm standing my ground, after two time outs and spanking, she still refused so it is time for an early nap.  You better believe that when she gets up, that she will finish her task.  I will not raise a disobedient child.  Like my mom always told me, "What you do now will effect what you do in the future."  I nipping the problems in the bud now, so that when she gets to her tweens, teens, and then becomes a young adult she will always possess everything needed to succeed.  There are obstacles and challenges in life that you just don't want to deal with all the time, but you have to face it.

Pray for me yall.  Patience and Grace.

Najeema Iman, I AM Curly Locks

Mothering Woes: I'm Sinking

It is past one in the morning and I am not in the bed.  I know that I am going to regret it in the morning when my terrific two wakes up, but after midnight is the only time that I can get to my self.  I am a full time mom and housewife, titles that I sometimes struggle to embrace, and my life is very full.  I take care of everybody, but seldom find time to take care of myself.  I struggle to get through day to day task, days go by with dishes in the sink, baskets of clothes line my walls, and my house is a jungle. I still don't drive, simply because I don't have time for classes, which forces me to be stuck in the house with two kids most days. My husband works crazy hours giving us little family time or one on one time with each other. Don't get it twisted I have a loving husband, but it's hard on us all. My prayer life is near non existent and I shriek at the midnight cries of my daughters.  I'm sinking here.

Last year we moved two hours outside of metro Detroit area.  We left everything and everyone we love to for uncharted territories. Being such a family oriented person makes this exceptionally hard and I just don't have the help that I need with the girls that I would like.  I don't hate motherhood or being a wife,  but I do not believe that I am living up to my full potential.  It is so hard.  

I could continue to go on and on with the list of problems that I have, but I know that there has be some good, right? I am depressed to say the least and I know it is only God who can bring me out of this, but frankly sometimes I get mad at Him too.  I know that is not a good place to be, and I pray that talking some things out with a counselor will help me heal and move into what God has for me. But I know I can't be the only one going through this, right? I'm struggling to stay afloat here can somebody throw me a lifeline.

Najeema Iman, I AM Curly Locks

Drive Thru mentality

So I haven't blogged in over a month, which is for numerous reasons. It's not like I don't have anything to talk about, my life  is kind of ordinary, though being a stay at home mother of two adds some spice from time to time, but I haven't felt like putting my hands on the keyboard or pen to paper.  To be honest I have been in sort of a depressed dormant state, which is my fault since I haven't picked up my bible in God know's how long and my prayer life could use a bit of a pick me up.   I'm only human, don't judge.  To be honest I over the past month I have been living, but not existing with God fully in my life.  I was seeking to do just enough, not fully doing what God has designed me to do as a mother, wife, daughter, and the multitude of other title I hold as a woman.

It's not that I don't pray, but I've been having a lot of quickies.  You know, those prayers that you try to get in just in the nick of time. "Lord bless my child, don't let any harm come to here," right after Elises' number came across the screen at church, only to find out that some other child tried to choke her. Or how about "protection Jesus," after finding out my husband nearly got in an accident due to another drivers foolishness.  I'm  not saying that these five second quickies are no good, but I do not believe that anyone including myself should have a drive by prayer life.

Christianity isn't like the fastfood lifestyle that us grotesque Americans frequent often.  It is not somethings that provides us just enough to get us by until we can make it the next meal, often null and void of any nutritional value, deep fried covered in grease, unhealthy to say the least.  Don't get me wrong I love Mickey D's and Burger King from time to time, but they are not everyday foods, nor staples.

My husband and I were having a conversation a couple of weeks ago about our "American way of life," is so backwards now.  As we sat reminiscing over the similarities and differences to our childhood, we realize how backwards we have become.  Back in the day (Yes, I do know it's not that long. I'm only 23.) McDonald's, Rally's, Burger King, Wendy's est. were treats, something that you begged for often, but only got every once in a while.  What was a once in a while treat for my husband and I, sometimes becomes a staple for my daughter Elise.  I hate to say it, but sometimes we can go a whole day without Elise having a home cooked meal.  It is sad, but it is truth.

As I seek to reclaim my family at the dinner table, we have a home cooked meal from scratch at least three times  a week, I realize that it is time for me to reclaim many other parts of my spiritual life which have become accustomed to a fast-food way of life.    As mom's it is my duty to be "keeper of my home," which God instructs in Titus 2:5. To be honest I never even looked at this scripture until it was referenced by one of my favorite bloggers Rhonda J. Smith in a article she wrote for EEW Magazine, Guard Their Ears and Eyes, Why you, the Parent, must be a Gatekeeper.  I haven't been doing my job well at all.  Not only have I not fully guarded my children, but I have lacked to cover them in prayer often.  In this article Rhonda J. Smith gives three key things that can help you, me, and other moms out there be effective "Gatekeepers." She says,

"For us to be effective guards of our homes, we must:Know the Word—The word of God tells us how to live. We have to know God’s standard so we
set God’s standard in our homes. “For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or
what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14). Answering these questions is a
good place to start making a distinction between righteous and unrighteous influences.Practice the Word—Fasting and prayer are essential so we gain spiritual insight to help us
navigate what we see and don’t see. There is always a war going on in the spiritual realm that we
cannot see, but God sees and directs our steps (2 Kings 6:15-17; Ephesians 6:12 and Proverbs 16:
9). This even includes God showing us how our children’s eyes and ears may have been violated
outside our home. God will reveal to us what we need to know so we can guard our gates
appropriately to defeat the enemy and protect our children.Select suitable substitutes—We may not have set biblical standards from the beginning but we
can choose biblical substitutes now. Check out Christian bookstores and websites for appropriate
music and movies. If you don’t know what artists to choose, check out EEW’s 10 Men Leading the Way issue and DaSouth.com for insight. Also, make sure you interact with families who have
biblical standards for their children and expose your children to groups and activities that support
your standards.

We only have one chance to raise our children. God has entrusted us as stewards of these precious
gifts and we must give an account for how we raised them (Luke 16:1-2, Romans 14:12, Hebrews 13:
17). This is our job. No school of choice or life of chance can do what only we were meant to do.
We are gatekeepers, called by God to guard our homes to keep them safe from unlawful intrusions,
abusers surely to rape our children of godly behavior (1 Corinthians 15:33). We can do this if we
seek to put the Kingdom first."
~Rhonda J. Smith, EEW Magazine, "Guarding Their Ears and Eyes:Why you, the Parent, Must be a gatekeeper."

This article helped to kick start the revolution that has been going on in my home.  Some days I am a better keeper than others, but I a rest knowing that I am a work in progress, and God is done with me yet.  Okay maybe I'm little ordinary, but I was created to do extraordinary things.

Peace and Love,

Najeema Iman
A maturing woman on a journey of rediscovery and recovery, I AM Curly Locks

The Diagnosis

Note to Reader:Okay so I know I haven't updated in a while, I am now the mother of two and that has taken away a lot of the time that I would have normally update my blog. This is the beginning of a new journey in my life, that I haven't really talked to a lot of people about.  I haven't blogged about it, but there were a lot of complications with my recent pregnancy.   I do not know where this post is going to take me, but  I hope that this will create dialogue between families going through similiar struggles, having faith in the midst of a medical situation.  I firmly believe, as a Christian that just because a doctor's report says one thing, does not mean that it is so.  There is nothing to hard for God and I have seen his miraulous works within my family over and over again. 


After a late night visit to the emergency in December, while pregnant with my daughter Eliana, they told me that something was different about my pregnancy.  When doctor's say stuff like that, it puts you on edge.  I was completely frantic, and when I went to a follow up appointment two weeks later and heard "the news," I was a complete mess.  The tears were flowin', emotions roarin', and  I didn't really understand what was going on.  They referred me to the genetics department, which didn't make the situation sound any better.

My meeting with genetics went a little something like this.  Heartbeat, heartbeat, thump-thump, thump-thump, heartdrop, tears, tears, and tears as I was told that my daughter would have clubbed feet and, wait  for it, Spina Bifida.   When this diagnosis came, it seemed like a death sentence as they told me the options, "You are early enough in your pregnancy, if you don't want to continue on with it. Termination is  an option as this will be hard on your fairly new marriage and your one year old..."

I couldn't believe the words I was hearing.  My mind raced, an unspoken dialogue of heartbreak taking over my mind.  I was put into one of the most challenging experiences in my life, and you want to talk about "The Option," which was no option for me.

To be continued.....

Najeema Iman, I AM Curly Locks

Hey I am creatively blocked on a title for this post series any ideas?

Blogsphere: Rhonda J. Smith featured in "Daily Guideposts: Your First Year of Motherhood"

One of my favorite bloggers, Rhonda J. Smith of Musing of a [Recovering] Strong Black Woman is being featured in a new book released April 1, 2011, Daily Guidepost: Your First Year of Motherhood.  Mrs. Smith is one of twenty one writers in this book that includes 366 devotionals to help mom's deal with the daily woes that family life can bring.  There is also a special section that talks about postpartum depression, lonliness, and maintaining a healthy marriage.

I haven't had the opportunity to purchase my copy yet, but I will definitely be hitting up Amazon sometime this week. But here's a message from Mrs. Smith,

"...I believe this is a must-have for new moms, and the universal themes in the devotionals benefit experienced moms and even those without children. So, please support this effort. Buy a book for you and someone you know. Tell others about it. It'll make a good baby shower or Mother's Day gift. Like the first weekend for new movies, the first few weeks for book sales are critical. So if you can, pick up the book within the next two weeks."

There you have it, a great buy for moms, moms-to-be, aunties, grandma's and all the ladies in between just in time for Mother's Day.

Peace and Love,

Najeema Iman I AM Curly Locks

Kitchen clean up

If I don't clean any other room my house, I am gonna' clean my kitchen. Of course there are days where I just don't have the time, and the dish water that I made turns sour, but this is a rare ocassion.  I guess it was instilled in me that the kitchen must be clean. As a child, my mothers (grandmother and mother) insisted that the dishes be done before I went bed. A defiant me would stay up all night, go to sleep and reep the consequences as I was woken up  in the middle of the night to get the dishes done.  Looking back on myself then I ask, "Why was I so insistent on persistently being disobedient in choosing not to do my weekly chore?" Who knows, but the dishes must be done and the kitchen clean for it affects tomorrow.

The kitchen is where it all goes done.   For us black girls its where hot combs were heated, hair was washed, and spiral curls were formed. The heart of the home where your body and soul is filled.  For me some of my most memorable experiences happened in the kitchen; making cranberry relish for Thanksgiving, licking cake batter from the mixing bowl, cornbread n' greens, New Year's corn-beef with cabbage on the side; Ummmmmmmmmm I can smell it now rosemary n' tyme, brown sugar n' butter, taste the double fudge bars n' lemon drop cookies, just a few of my favorite things.  Food is the foundations for family, and it comes out of the kitchen so it must be clean cause' I don't want yesturdays curls in tommorows goodies.

My mothers knew what they were doing when they made me clean the kitchen, they were teaching me a life lesson.  If the kitchen is the center of the home, then it is imperative to keep it clean because if it is not clean then the filth that you left can transfer into your body through the food that you prepare and put into your body.  I am by no means saying that having a few dishes in the sink is disaster, but I am suggesting that keeping tabs on kitchen cleaning is a must. If not taken care of properly mold, mildew, bacteria, and so much more can go in both the seen and unseen places of the kitchen.

Just like God washes us white as snow removing the dirt from our murkiest places, the ultimate clorox, we must do the same in our home.  A little bit of bleach n' water goes a long way.  God is already working on the inside, so we must keep up with whats on the outside.

My grandma always said, "'Our house is a reflection of us." My living room might be a little junky, heck I have a one year old, but my kitchen it's always a work in progress, always in the process of getting clean.  The center is getting aligned.

To my fellow mothers, single or married, if you can take the time to sit down and eat with your family and clean up afterwards.   There is great reward in this.  What nourishes our soul comes out of the kitchen, so it is good to keep the foundation clean. A little bit of bleach goes a long way to get rid of the filth.

Najeema Iman, I AM Curly Locks
"I believe in Kingdom blogging!"

Sleep Chronicles; When the Doctor becomes the patient

I am a pregnant mother of a teething 17 month old with a cold.  I have to say this definitely is no fun and not much sleep involved either, needless to say I am so far behind on blogging its ridiculous. I have like 4 drafts that haven't even been touched yet, and countless others that need to be finished.  I took on the task of highlighting an African American Woman in History everyday for the month of February, and I sure have the worst of all monkey wrenches in my schedule, me and my cold.

Okay so I may exaggerating a little bit, but it doesn't help that my current diet consist of tea (lemon juice and honey included), buttered toast, cough drops, and apple juice.  I truly understand why my daughter got tired of the BRATS diet(Bananas, Rice, Apples, Toast, and Soup) after about two/three days. It's not that any of these things taste bad, in fact I love a nice cold glass half n' half Apple juice (half apple juice concentrate and water) its just that having these things in combination with each other over and over, gets kind of repetitive, and not in a good way.  Yes, I'm complaining, but moms need to rant every now and then.

Now when my hubs is sick, I know exactly what to do, but when the situation is reversed he is like a deer in headless.   Don't get the situation twisted, I love my hunny, he is a great man, but definitely a better patient than a doctor.  Of course he is quick to make my tea, and rubs my tummy when Eliana (unborn edition to our family) is karate choppin' me, but he just doesn't have the God giving nurturing ability.  It's not his fault. By nature I am a nurturer, I been taking care of sick patients since my dolly had a cold in her bassinet, and I know what too do, but like most men, my husband only possesses a fraction of this quality.  Yes, when my daughter runs into the wall, he's the first on the scene....and when it comes to discipline watch out now daddy's in charge, but he's a man, as I have reiterated several times.

 Mommy Advice
So with all of this being said, what is mom to do?  Go on. You do what you do best, nurture yourself. Don't forget about hugs and kisses from the fam, even though you could slightly be infectious, they are some of the best medicine, but take the remedies you use on your patients and make them for yourself.  Get rest, the hubs may not be able to nurture you completely, but when he offers for you to go to bed and he'll take care of the little one(s) don't deny him that priveledge, cause' when he goes to work, you are back on duty.  Go with the flow, you may not be able to be babied but having a toddler race around the house, may be just what you ned to sweat it out.

Najeema Iman, I AM Curly Locks
"I believe in Kingdom blogging!"